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By just about any other standard, however, this instantly forgettable trifle is fairly close to worthless. Expect a fleeting theatrical run before interment in Redbox kiosks. Set in the Pacific Northwest hamlet of Sporks, Wash.

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Why is Vampires Suck rated PG? Run Time: 82 minutes. Since the book release inTwilight has had a polarizing effect on the general public despite spending over 91 weeks on the New York Times Best Seller List.

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Vampires Suck: Comedy. Directed by Adam Seltzer and Jacob Friedberg. At Bay Area theaters.

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Becca Crane moves to the sleepy town of Sporks and finds herself torn between two men. There's sparkling vampire Edward, whose commitment issues stem from his bloodsucking family trying to eat his prospective girlfriends, and his dogged rival for her affections, Jacob. Hilarity ensues on a rollercoaster through pop culture and teenage vampire relationships.

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It is a parody of the Twilight film series. Just like the previous Friedberg and Seltzer moviesthe film was panned by critics for its humor and plot. Meanwhile, a killing spree is attributed to the Canadians, but the real perpetrators are a group of vampires usually mistaken for the Black Eyed Peas.

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Aside from the difficulty of spoofing a saga that has always been winkingly aware of its own angsty excesses, there is the inadvisability of angering a tweeniverse whose emotional investment in the originals borders on pathological. That gives Becca Crane Jenn Proskethe newest and twitchiest kid in town, plenty of options for inappropriate dating. Enter Edward Matt Lanterthe only immortal who has yet to graduate from high school, and Jacob Chris Riggian American Indian saddled with multiple nipples and a stringy tail.

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Becca, an anxious, non-vampire teen, is torn between two boys. Before she can choose, Becca must get around her controlling father, who embarrasses Becca by treating her like a child. Meanwhile, Becca's friends contend with their own romantic issues - all of which collide at the prom. The best new release of the week didn't actually come out this week.


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